Sunday, January 17, 2016

The BISCUIT that brought me back from hiatus.

“You may all go to Hell and I will go to Texas.” – Davy Crockett

A few years ago, much to the bewilderment of Grumpy Old Editor (heretofore to be known as BroHammer2112) I packed up my Jeep and inadvertently became DrunkEats resident Texan. Over the years DrunkEats has covered a wide array of meals, experiences, and lifestyle indulgences both domestic and abroad but when you hit Texas you may as well taken up residence on one of Jupiter’s moons, only with Open Carry rights as of January 1st.

Despite multiple behests of BroHammer2112 I stayed on the DrunkEats sidelines until today. With renewed vigor, piss, and vinegar I am happy to return from the tumbleweeds and buffalo down the street from my house (Yes that happens). BroHammer2112 has been informed of my intentions and motivations and perhaps more importantly I hope to fill in on more content from my backlogged archive, spewing forth some experiences in no particular order but motivated by my breakfast 12 hours ago that still has me more than full.

297 West Round Grove Road
Lewisville, TX 75067

Google “Best Breakfasts in Dallas” and you will find results for D Magazine’s Annual tribute to North Texas’ top eateries. Just a few miles north of DFW Airport in Lewisville (and only a dangerous 2 miles from my house) you will find Jackie’s Ham & Eggs in a small unassuming strip mall tucked between The Drunken Donkey and Baan Thai, both neighbors are suitable in their own regard but breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you will not be left wanting in any capacity after sitting and surveying any plates in this packed dining room that fits roughly 50 with a constant line on weekends. So the story goes, Jackie’s was a hot spot for America’s Team in the 90’s, unsurprising with Nate Newton’s fave deli spot in the neighboring town. If Jackie can serve up enough eggs, bacon, & biscuits for football players be assured that travelers, locals, & the like are no match for her portions.
I made my way in on a Saturday morning just after 8am, go early or perish in the waiting line. If you make the mistake of going on a Sunday beat the church crowd and definitely make it in before 9am and don’t expect to see more than one free table until after 1pm. I’m a fan of breakfast, most weekends I’ll have the range heating up for my morning eggs before I’m fully awake but Jackie’s is an occasional treat. The menu is standard fare – a few favorites, three or four egg omelets, Eggs Benedict, pancakes/French toast, and Tex-Mex specials for the ever present Hispanic crowd.

Today I went with the Bob’s Special Omelet – the simple flat grill serving of 4 eggs, bacon, tomato, & cheese. Your accompaniments are a choice of home style fries (read: BIG ASS POTATOES), grits (normally my safe go to in the south but never in Texas), or hashbrowns and an additional (AT NO COST ) choice of toast or BISCUIT & gravy of the ham, sausage, or plain variety.

Notice emphasis on BISCUIT.  

Stock Photo -

This Morning’s Buttery Beast  - That ain’t a loaf of bread!

Jackie does not mess around with her biscuits and as a result not many patrons can wrap their minds, mouths, or stomachs around it either.

So I began my journey, I try to space out my visits roughly every three months and I’ve fallen short in finishing my plate a time or 10 before. Today I came ready with a lite dinner the night before. The omelet on its own is a mesmerizing mix of cheese and crunchy bacon with no watered down tomato finish, enough of a slap in the mouth to wake your taste buds and stretch for BISCUIT.

After carving out some real estate on my Texas-sized plate I moved BISCUIT over the  china border with some generous gravy dollops.

BISCUIT is fluffy and moist, pulled out of the oven just before the dough fully sets. The wait staff magically delivers your side plate still warm drizzled with  butter to not make you feel over-indulgent. Soft and palatable BISCUIT is actually served on its own if you prefer lighter fare or want to grab a quick bite on your way to work during the week (a temptation I have not yet exercised). Using BIG ASS POTATOES alternately I have successfully wolfed down one-third of the behemoth.

The middle third of BISCUIT is still warm as it hits my plate. Despite its gargantuan size it never feels too dense or tough, smooth all the way through similar to washing down a Black & Tan Yuengling which was a favorite of mine but unfortunately nowhere to be found so far from its native Pennsylvania. Patrons unfamiliar to Jackie’s may have reservations concerning an inattentive serving staff but that must be for the unaccustomed, I prefer to sit towards the back of the 2nd dining room where my coffee cup has never gone dry.

After a tedious few minutes I was determined to not wave my white napkin in defeat. Adam Richmond time and again sang the praises of hot sauce as the savior of any dish too daunting and I optioned for the closest Louisiana choice.

Stretching my better judgement and belt buckle, I bested the beast!

BISCUIT has kept my hunger at bay for the past 13 hours and counting. Ham & Eggs is a dangerous option for me personally being so close to where I now call home. If you find yourself in the area or on your way back from an overnight trip to either Choctaw or Winstar Casinos just 45 minutes north on the Red River separating Texas and Oklahoma make the stop. Jackie’s is great for locals, travelers, and anyone that desires the basic breakfast staple with a twist of an informal challenge.
BISCUIT only favors the BRAVE.  

Bonus Shot - Jackie’s “Short Stack” of Pancakes, another challenge on its own.